新年新希望、新愿望

十二月三十一日，二零一零的最后一天。再多两个小时，新的一年就来临了。妹妹们都各自有约，只有我独自在家中陪伴两老。多么感伤阿！正直花样年华的岁月，我却依然含苞未放……

每年的这个月这一天，都会守岁（虽然不是农历新年，但是为了双亲还是做了）。想着一整年所做的，对的错的，都一并掠过脑海。每年的这一天，我的心都充满着期待、彷徨和些许失落……期待是因为新的一年即将来临，人永远都不会知道明天将会发生的事情；彷徨是因为不晓得所许的愿是否能实现；失落是因为一些想做的事在今年即将结束的当儿还是无法完成。

每年，我都会给自己设下一些计划及理想。每一次，当这些梦想无法完成时，我也只好把它移到明年。数一数，其实今年我所如愿的事情也不少，至少比往年多得多。这或许是因为已经中学毕业了，父母的束缚没有那么严了，自己也比较有能力作自己想做的事了。

第一件成真的事情是能够到外国吃吃喝喝、做做工、交交外籍朋友，经历与同年龄不同的生活琐碎事。虽然只是邻国新加坡，有些见闻已经是略有所闻，屡见不鲜了，但是所有不同的经验让我成为一个更独立自信的人。 只是，所存到的钱只够我付清第一学期的考试费。

第二件实现了的事情是拍了个人专辑。听人家说，女生一生中应该至少为自己拍一阁个人专辑，因为那意味着那时的自己是如何的青春年华，就算以后皱纹如何肆虐自己的脸，自己也不会有太多的遗憾。其实这个专辑后面有一个梦，梦前面是所有人的劝告；梦后面是无数的诱惑及憧憬。纵使梦碎了，我却不觉得有任何损失，毕竟我赚到了另一个人生经历。（虽然这个经历真的很奢侈）

另外一件值得让我庆幸的事是我终于如愿以偿的选读我喜欢的科系——心理学和大众传播。当心理医生是我从很小时就设下的理想。如今，我终于有机会亲闻它的香泽了。纵然期间父亲听闻人言，认为这是条不归之路，不赞成我选修。但是，在我一再的坚持下，他终于放下矜持，认可了我倔强的抉择。就连一向保守古板的妈妈都说：“读书就应该读自己有兴趣的，不然以后做工哪会做得长久呢？”这更鼓励我走向我选择的道路上。无论以后这是条康庄大道或是崎岖山路，我都会很努力地一一把它们踩在脚下，不让它们有机会把我绊倒！

纵使今年实现了很多梦想，但是其实还有更多的梦在等待着。人嘛，不贪心一点就不会更努力去追求！希望明年能实现的第一个愿望是拍全家福，因为现有的照片已近三年了，是时候更新了。

刚才家里有个派对，亲戚朋友都到了，听悉我两个妹妹都出外，只有我留在家，免不了很好奇。哈哈哈。妈妈就笑说她们想快点让她抱孙子。她心里其实还蛮担心的。哈哈哈。所以另一个就是希望明年有机会带个像样的男伴回家给父母瞧瞧，让他们放心这个女儿已经长大了，有人照顾了，他们可以安心了。

接下来，我还计划买个缝纫机给自己。我想来喜欢DIY和缝纫，以往都是用手做的，花费很多时间，所以想买台给自己，好让自己有机会将自己所爱的送给大家，与所有我爱的人分享。 ^^ 当然，我也计划和妹妹年尾去绑牙，不知道需要花多少钱叻~所以现在要节衣缩食了。哈哈哈。不然欠下一屁股债就糟了!

还有一个理想，希望我能够出版一本被大众喜爱的书。也希望我能快点完成学业，赚第一个一万块钱让父母出国旅行。还有很多很多的愿望，让我的未来更加美好，让我更能努力的向上生活，勇敢地活出自己的天空！

虽然时间一直走、一直在倒数，离明年只有四十多分钟，但我相信总有一天我会在每年的十二月以前把所有的梦想一一实现！让新的一年有新的希望，而不拖欠往年任何愿望！愿所有人年年健康幸福无烦恼！
新年快乐！

SURPRISED!!!

        I had tonnes of things to surprise, since I entered my college,SEGI College Sarawak. hahaha. well, you can  say I am 'rusa masuk kampung', I don't mind. ^^

       I was totally blank when I first went into the class, people that I did not know at all, the different way of settings of furniture and class, the lecturer that I had never familiar with... I was totally left out, did not know what  should I do, as I am really not the type that will talk to others before others started to talk to me. I still miss my friends so much, 3gu6po~ hehehe. they are my BBF! I got my first shocked here, as for the whole week which we had 4 classes, we introduced ourselves. I wondered the lecturers can remember our name or not. And my guessing was right, but some, they did not know who are you. SAD... hahaha. Don't really care actually. And what's more, the course mates are very easy going, and they love to make friend. I am very lucky to enter this class, as I am half stepping on my dream, and I have such many nice new friends, though their attitude is very different and kind of...weird.wahahaha

       I was again surprised, by the TURNITIN...OMX! hahaha shocked as that was my first assignment. Luckily, that was not a big deal. hahaha. haiz... assignment can kill,, especially for that subject! hahaha. the exam also a part of shocking; as I couldn't catch what is the format, and acted like a fool.hahaha.

      Aside from studies, I have surprised in Love as well. Surprisingly, I begin to fall for you, as you are not my cup of tea. I am wondering why...huh~ anyway, I do not want to be your burden, that is why I keep it to myself, and you are the only one who guessed it out.How stupid! hahaha. well, whether you tell other or not, I cannot be sure... Be quiet is the only thing I can do. I know you wont love me.I will not say that I am not hurt at all, but I will be fine someday^^

      Another surprise from the loved one as well... I never knew you did visit my blog. That is why I kept writing on my feeling towards you. hohoho... this time I really don't know where to put my face when I see you... zZZ... hahaha. so paiseh as my posts so SEXY~ wahahaha... I am sorry if you feel confused or sorry or guilty towards me, I don't mean to make you feel so... hahaha. But ho, you are good at pretending, if you did not tell me I really wont know you had read my blog... hahaha. ANYTHING. Thank you.

       One surprise from my darling, Jane who wishes to be the intermediate person to introduce a guy to me. hahaha. well, really surprised as she said she thought of me since she first saw the guy. hahaha. well, you know my taste, I am sure of it^^ thanks alot for you kepoING... Hope you don't mind I share it here. I really appreciate that you still concern about me even we did not meet so often after SPM. well, wish you all the best! Muakz~

       Now, I am surprised with myself. hahaha. I am still who I am, who love to laugh and smile, but  lost the enthusiasm to do something... haiz. Find me someone to accompany me to walk the way back. hahaha. yo my friends!where are you? And I found that I am actually suffering night blindness,Think back all those time when I was younger, I used to on the light even when the day is still visible. and the illness for 9 years, but still not be able to cure even I had changed so many doctors.

        The other shocking-my-life-off thing is I always have the same nightmare, the vampire...since I was young. The sane vampire, same locations, with the up-to-date individuals around me. It is scary and I was so scare until I did not dare to sleep as I afraid it might attack me again in the dream recently. T.T ... I feel like I want to cry so much but I cannot find a reason to cry. Since when I faded my mask to be strong and becoming weaker? I still alone and there is no reason why I should be weak, as I have not found anyone who I can lean on. I don't mind to find slowly. I am still the mercury, strong enough the withstand the temperature!

jia you jia you! I am at my best!

gambate!

have a nice day everyone~