如果，那么我XXX

如果我哭了，
那不代表我懦弱，
哭后反而会变得更坚强；

如果我一个人，
那不代表我寂寞，
而是我能单独做自己想做的事；

如果我心痛了，
不是因为没有你，
而是因为没有了自己；

如果我笑了，
不是因为拥有你，
而是知道你幸福了；

如果我爱你，
不是因为你是你，
而是把你当成自己了；

如果我不爱了，
不是因为等太久，
而是把对你的爱放下了；

如果我伤心，
不是因为你的拒绝，
而是自己的无法放弃；

如果我把眼镜拆下，
那是因为我想用朦胧的视线看世界，
暂时逃离眼前清楚的事实；
如果甜蜜，
就是心跳加速，
好像心脏快要跳出来的样子；
那么心痛，
就是心跳渐渐变慢，
直到感觉快要窒息为止……

如果爱一个人，
需要找到对的方程式；
那么爱你，
我会找到正确的方式…… <3

Much To thInk .oO

I do not know what and how should I feel right now...
there just simply doesnt have any mood that suits me for this moment...
My heart is totally...EMPTY...
Since when I always have this dumb feeling,I am not sure.I am tired,just want to lie down and have a good rest.
I met you today,and we did not talk at all,just one sentence you told me,"table 6."
You kept playing and chatting with others,I should know that you were actually trying to make me feel bad,so that I can hate you,is tat so? Or i guess wrongly? I DONT KNOW!
the last sentence you said," I dont wish to see you anymore." I should know that you were actually talking to me,but not the people beside me.
Am I so hatred?
Am I so unreliable?
Am I so ... until you dont want to see me,and keep taking off to avoid me?
I DONT KNOW.
what can I do is just>>>GUESSING.
Why we turn out to be like this?
YeoYeo mama said,"doesnt like you,just give up! the gals like us,so nice so small very nice to hug,dont need to worry no people want,and easy to find company!" Is that true? I DONT KNOW!
There are so much to think...And I am not going to let this feelling pulls me down to the core.
I always read CL the 8gong's emo posts;
I know how X_X feels when he had to break with his beloved one;
I understand what all those about and I know why I will feel this so strongly,
I thought it will be easy for me,
as I understand it,
but how silly i am...
as I couldn't.
From you sight
I know maybe I was wrong to do all the decisions between us,
until there is a glimpse of weirdness among us.
Should I be blamed?
I never regret it.
what should i do?
what can i do?
what will i do?
I DONT KNOW~

there are so much to think!
I was wondering why the ESILA website couldn't I logged on...
Is there alot of students who were now trying to log on like me to see the result?but the result havent released yet?
How if I am not selected?
which university should I go?
Again, I DONT KNOW.hahaha.

ONE MORE!
I am getting FATTER!
huh~vjust dont know why,I thought I am keeping fit all the way,but my face just grows fatter like that.AHHH! until i can see my double chin so easily! OMG! whats more,I am still eating chocolate! hahaha.just cant leave it!
Life is just too messy for me right now.Everything will be fine,indeed,it always does!
So,I wont go and think about it.hahaha,just let it be.I dont want to make myself so suffering thinking so much of unnecessary reasons for myself.hahaha.Smile and it will soon go away too!
Good luck to me!
have a nice day!
gambate ah!

1/4 的红苹果

很久以前，有个单纯的女孩，在男孩家开的水果店打工。也许相处久了，也许是男孩的细心，让她感到很温暖，让她不知不觉地喜欢上了男孩。
在发现自己爱意后的每一天里，女孩都会切1/4 的红苹果给男孩吃。也许已经习惯了女孩的这个举动，男孩并没有多加留意什么。
在那年的那个情人节，男孩身边多了个女孩，和男孩很匹配。女孩削了最后一次红苹果给男孩……谁知道，刚巧遇见男孩和女孩在吵架。那个女孩不顾一切的奔向马路，男孩追上前去，前面疾驰而来的车辆，眼看就要撞到男孩……
这个时候，拿着1/4红苹果的女孩，在最后一刻，把男孩从危险中脱出，而自己，却被奔驰的车子撞个正着，手中紧握的1/4的苹果，掉了下来，变成两半……
不晓得过了多少年，男孩和那个女孩结婚了。
但是男孩还是改不了那年的习惯，要这个女孩继续着为他而牺牲女孩的习惯，每天削1/4的苹果给他吃。是为了纪念她？还是怕自己会忘记她？男孩自己也不明白……
忽然，只听见女孩对男孩说：“你有没有发觉，这样子切开来1/4的苹果，像什么？”
“它……象一颗心。”男孩看着女孩摆的红苹果，缓缓地说出口，仿佛自己早已了解，只是不愿去承认、假装不知道罢了~
事过境迁，万事早已被注定，过去的也无法挽回。也许，只有这个1/4的红苹果，能证明，有个人曾深深的爱着他。现在他所能做的，只有好好珍惜现在的幸福，不让它从手中溜走……
“若一个女孩喜欢一个男孩，她会送他1/4的红苹果。”

有没有人送过你1/4的红苹果呢？
有没有人问你要不要吃1/4的红苹果呢？
如果有的话，请你注意……
也许，她/他在等你的回应……

请好好珍惜。


《梦姑娘短篇故事2》