SURPRISED!!!

        I had tonnes of things to surprise, since I entered my college,SEGI College Sarawak. hahaha. well, you can  say I am 'rusa masuk kampung', I don't mind. ^^

       I was totally blank when I first went into the class, people that I did not know at all, the different way of settings of furniture and class, the lecturer that I had never familiar with... I was totally left out, did not know what  should I do, as I am really not the type that will talk to others before others started to talk to me. I still miss my friends so much, 3gu6po~ hehehe. they are my BBF! I got my first shocked here, as for the whole week which we had 4 classes, we introduced ourselves. I wondered the lecturers can remember our name or not. And my guessing was right, but some, they did not know who are you. SAD... hahaha. Don't really care actually. And what's more, the course mates are very easy going, and they love to make friend. I am very lucky to enter this class, as I am half stepping on my dream, and I have such many nice new friends, though their attitude is very different and kind of...weird.wahahaha

       I was again surprised, by the TURNITIN...OMX! hahaha shocked as that was my first assignment. Luckily, that was not a big deal. hahaha. haiz... assignment can kill,, especially for that subject! hahaha. the exam also a part of shocking; as I couldn't catch what is the format, and acted like a fool.hahaha.

      Aside from studies, I have surprised in Love as well. Surprisingly, I begin to fall for you, as you are not my cup of tea. I am wondering why...huh~ anyway, I do not want to be your burden, that is why I keep it to myself, and you are the only one who guessed it out.How stupid! hahaha. well, whether you tell other or not, I cannot be sure... Be quiet is the only thing I can do. I know you wont love me.I will not say that I am not hurt at all, but I will be fine someday^^

      Another surprise from the loved one as well... I never knew you did visit my blog. That is why I kept writing on my feeling towards you. hohoho... this time I really don't know where to put my face when I see you... zZZ... hahaha. so paiseh as my posts so SEXY~ wahahaha... I am sorry if you feel confused or sorry or guilty towards me, I don't mean to make you feel so... hahaha. But ho, you are good at pretending, if you did not tell me I really wont know you had read my blog... hahaha. ANYTHING. Thank you.

       One surprise from my darling, Jane who wishes to be the intermediate person to introduce a guy to me. hahaha. well, really surprised as she said she thought of me since she first saw the guy. hahaha. well, you know my taste, I am sure of it^^ thanks alot for you kepoING... Hope you don't mind I share it here. I really appreciate that you still concern about me even we did not meet so often after SPM. well, wish you all the best! Muakz~

       Now, I am surprised with myself. hahaha. I am still who I am, who love to laugh and smile, but  lost the enthusiasm to do something... haiz. Find me someone to accompany me to walk the way back. hahaha. yo my friends!where are you? And I found that I am actually suffering night blindness,Think back all those time when I was younger, I used to on the light even when the day is still visible. and the illness for 9 years, but still not be able to cure even I had changed so many doctors.

        The other shocking-my-life-off thing is I always have the same nightmare, the vampire...since I was young. The sane vampire, same locations, with the up-to-date individuals around me. It is scary and I was so scare until I did not dare to sleep as I afraid it might attack me again in the dream recently. T.T ... I feel like I want to cry so much but I cannot find a reason to cry. Since when I faded my mask to be strong and becoming weaker? I still alone and there is no reason why I should be weak, as I have not found anyone who I can lean on. I don't mind to find slowly. I am still the mercury, strong enough the withstand the temperature!

jia you jia you! I am at my best!

gambate!

have a nice day everyone~

贵人

是否曾经有个人，不惜回报的一直帮助着你：在你无助时给你力量、借你肩膀、给你依靠、替你撒谎、给你讲笑话、为你的窘境解围？可是，她却不是你的家人、亲戚，你们无任何血缘关系，但她就是时时关怀着你……如果你能遇到这样的人，不需要很多，你就是世界上最幸运的人了，因为你碰见了你生命中的贵人。
我很幸运，每当我生活陷于低潮时期，总会有人，陪我度过难关。她们，是和我无亲无故，但却又情同姐妹的好拍档。谢谢你们，三姑六婆。遇见你们是上天给我丰厚的礼物。也因为有你们，我的世界更精彩。无论以后我们是否常见面，抑是会吵架，都希望我们能一直在一起，陪着彼此。记得我们的约定：老了的时候，你们要在公园等着我回来与你们会面。在等我的当儿，被其他跟我们现在一样青春年华的一群朋友看见，然后让这个约定一直延续~
你们是我的第一号贵人……

还有一种人，她赏识你、给你吃喝、供你上课、免费飞机票住宿费、带你去玩、关心你、带你去看医生、时常买东西给你，却没有要求任何回报，甚至于让旁人认为她的举动是有所企图的。相同的，你们非亲非顾，认识尚浅，她却无条件的帮助你。如果在你声明里有幸碰见这样的人，你真的是世界上少数的幸运儿，因为你碰见了你生活中重要的贵人。
而我，真的是少数幸运儿中的幸运儿，因为我遇见了这一号人物。还没有正式认识我，你却让我去参加课程，出飞机票和带我去玩，可见你有多信任我们；认识我不就及一个月，你就打算让我当你岗位中重要的角色；看见我有病，你还特地抽空载我看医生，还花钱买药给我；还时常买东西给我和我的家人，我真的有无数的感激在心头。你从来都不曾要求我为你做些什么，却一直这样关怀着我，我非常的感激，也很庆幸我是如此的幸运，遇见了你。当然，也觉得很惭愧，一直劳烦着你，带给你麻烦，你却无任何怨言。你为我做的，我全都看在眼里，不晓得如何报答你才是。其实也很愧疚，如果有一天，我无法再帮你，那我会有多汗颜呢？搁着一堆恩情于不顾，真的会很不好过。但是，真的很谢谢你，Madam Cecilia。你让我看见世间有温情，你让我相信这个世界是美好的，还是有一种人会一直付出而不求回报。感激你的出现，感恩你的关怀。我一直相信好人有好报。你一定会很健康幸福的！
其实，世界上还有好多好多种人，他们在你需要时帮助你，也许只是不经意地替你踢掉你面前的一块绊脚石，但是这一臂之力，却让你从渊谷里爬了起来；也许，他们并不晓得、并不介意，但是对你来说，那是无限的感激。没错！他们，就是贵人！
贵人并无大小、轻重之分，只要他们的行动值得你去感激的，就是一个帮助了你的人。有人说："贵人不一定是帮助你的人，他们也许是在你沮丧失败时踹你一脚、落井下石的人，可是，就是他们的嘲讽，你才得以振作及后来的成功。所以说，他们何尝不是你的贵人呢？"
总之，只要懂得付出与收获，只要懂得感激，贵人将会无处不在。或许，哪一天，我也会成为别人的贵人也说不定~
愿我的贵人们生活美满安康！
加油！

不懂自己在说什么，就像不懂为什么会爱你一样。

一语道破你的思想。很难过的，你的高兴换来了我的哀伤。过后你是怎样的解释，其实第一句就已足够证明你在想什么了。只是，很悲哀的，让你失望了。
真的很感激你的不小心，也很感谢你并没有给我期待，让我继续等待。
曾经想过，如果不爱你，我的世界会不同吗？只不过少了个人住在心里吧~所以，无所谓了！
是啊！如果我没有爱上你，也许那该有多好呢~
我不会恨你，这是真的。伤心我一个人就够了，为什么还要把你拖下水呢？没必要。你有你的自由和快乐。
其实知道自己真的很傻。为什么会为了你而不顾这个不管那个呢？好好笑。自己都变得不像自己，不像自己喜欢的那个自己。就连自己也不喜欢这样的自己，哪还有理由要你来喜欢这样的自己呢？
只是，每次看见你有困难，每次看见你因为某些事烦恼，就会情不自禁的想帮你。
真的很可悲~就连最后的那份矜持，好像都遗失了。那我还有什么值得你去留恋的呢？
没有。
我并不介意在你最困难的时候才出现；在你开心的时候消失。毕竟，爱在困苦中更能让我知道，我曾爱你，曾为了你的奋斗而心疼。这是我爱你所能给的。谁会知道，等到有一天我不爱你了，我就不会为了你而熬夜，彻夜等待着你的信息……
我会继续爱你吗？这样下去，我的自尊还会犹存吗？感情里的未知数往往让人烦恼不已，但它就是充满了未知数。让我想爱，却又不敢爱。
痛苦吗？其实是不会的。毕竟，我喜欢的是你，而不是和你在一起。所以，有什么好痛苦的呢？痛苦只是自讨苦吃吧~

多么希望我是只能带领你飞向幸福天空的风筝，而不是被你绑住的风筝。
谢谢你曾让我知道，我有能力帮助你，就算只是那么的一丁点，也很满足了~
也许，在未来的日子里，你会恨我的爱？我不晓得。
朋友急着介绍朋友给我认识，一直安排时间。其实心里是很感激的，纵使我心里依然有个你。
当然，身边都会有‘艳遇’的时候，只是，自己都不想去捉住，而把它放掉了。
我没有在等你，只是想处在原地徘徊，等待着另一个人出现把我牵走。
也许，我是想把心冰封，等待另一个人为我热化？
我不知道。
在爱里兜兜转转了那么久，其实已经看开了，淡化一点，人就漂亮一些。简简单单就能很幸福。
现在的我还没有那个能力去真正的于任何一个人携手相伴，即使有时候真的希望身边有个人陪伴着。我不能。
我不懂自己罗罗嗦嗦到底在说什么，就像，我不懂为什么我会爱上你一样。
会继续爱下去吗？顺其自然吧~
你呢？会怎样？
但愿你幸福就好~