梦游记

Life is Dream Walking; I dream Walking in my LIFE^^

EmoING .oO

Today is Mother's Day,I am not at home celebrating with my beloved mama and family,all I can do is calling her and chat with her.
There is nothing much to talk actually,just something usual...Mama asked me is it tiring and tough to work at here? For the very first time I pulled down my strong-pretended-mask,telling her I am getting tired,and I miss home alot...She did ask me to go back but I insisted as I promised I will bring at least RM3000 when I go back,and I would not make them feel ashame in front of other relatives. I told her I will buy a thermal pot for her when I am back in July,she was overjoyed during listened to this.hahaha.
Then she told me they had celebrated the festive yesterday,yet,my siblings still bought a cake for her. hahaha,but she did not know what the cake is.hahaha.Then she told me some more: the cake was bought by my siblings,with the ratio 2:1:1,and you know what?hahaha,my youngest brother is the ratio of 2 and his 2 elder sisters bullied him by asking him to pay more.hahaha.How funny is this!
After that I talked to my sister,and she told me it is a cinderella fresh cream cake,hahaha,i bet i would like it if I was there! Next,I chatted with my papa.He remains the same,the first question was " do you have enough money to use or not?" hahaha.and then was " is it very expensive to call back?" OMG~ I had repeated the answers over and over but he still does not believe me! hahaha.What's more,he still asking me when I am going to study,I actually also told him this couple of times before but he just couldn;t remember,or should I say,HE DID NOT TRY TO REMEMBER?Hahaha,but I know he is getting older,his memory is going to fade bit by bit.And you know what?Some more similar sentence! "Dont talk so long,you see the phone is going to explode!" hahaha.He is so cute,indeed.hahaha.
By the way,he did ask something different,something same as my mama..." are you tire of the work?is it tough?" hahaha.yea,I am tired,wanted to go home,meet my friends and family,leave this lonely and cold place.However,I cant.I have to stand all the missing feeling,in order to achieve what I want and what I have promised.
Anyway, I MISS my PAPA,MAMA,SIS,BRO,3GU6PO and RELATIVES very much! How can I express to you how much I miss you just by this sentence~ hahaha...
AND...
Yeo yeo mama,dont worry too much,even if you worry,you sad,nothing will help to cure the incident.Dont worry so much,remember to eat and dont cry... Everything will get better,jia you! and I love you too,yeoyeo mama,thanks for the advices that you had given me and the encouraging words that you beared in my mind.

hmm...My feeling box in the left chest corner is now totally blank,empty...I dont know how should i feel and what should I feel right now.
I miss,
I love,
I hurt,
I lost,
I give up,
I sad,
I emo,
but
I DO NOT cry
I DO NOT regret
I DO NOT scare...
why should I cry/regret/scare of? I keep asking myself this...what and whoever that can make me cry/regret/scare? those who can and who will make me cry,regret and scare is someone or something that is not need to be treasured,am I right?
or should I remember it all the time so that it can be a good experience for me?
there are so much to worry,I shall be happy,so that my life is easier and happier.I wont let the feeling goes far and goes deep,until it is rooted in my heart.
I will be happy,as what I always tell myself to do...
"hahaha,smile to the hardships,as it will pass!"
 hahaha,my motto,how could I forget it? lalala.yoyoyo
Finish emoING,now is HAPPYing~
hahaha.thanks alot for those who love me and dont love me,I love all of you!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I LOVE MY MAMA!
and I love all the mama in this world! thanks for sacrifiying so much for us,we will be happy in order to return your loves.

总是,以为自己拥有一切;
总是,奋不顾身往前冲;
总是,憧憬着美好的将来;
总是;认为自己很坚强;
总是,以为自己很乐观;
总是,觉得自己很快乐;
总是,想所有人都幸福;
却总是,摔了一身伤……

现在,是一切回到原点的时候了……
躲回过去那个无忧无虑无烦恼的贝壳里,
纪念过去;
忘记现在,
向往将来;
我会是我自己的自己,不属于任何人……

曾经,以为自己会得到幸福,憧憬的未来是美好的。可是,现实一次又一次的破坏了我的想法;
曾经,我是那么的消极,还记得两行眼泪在我脸庞不停的流下来的滚烫滋味;
曾经,我是那么的让人担心;
曾经,我是那么努力的改变自己,让快乐重现在我嘴角;
曾经,我是那么的幸福,有大家的爱;
曾经,我是那么的努力,让被担心转为为他人担心;
曾经,我认为自己只需要自己……
那么多的曾经,却又再现眼前,
我又得一一经历他们,
又再一次经历伤痛,经历成长。

最近的我,好像变得很消极,新加坡的妈妈一直叫我要多笑,要开心点,不要闷闷不乐;就连朋友都问我:“你最近怎么闷闷的?有事吗?”
我说:“有吗?”我真的没有察觉到,我似乎又变回以前那个懦弱的自己了,讨厌这样的自己……我该是个快乐的青春少女,应该是拥有很多爱的女生,为什么还那么的不自觉,那么的不懂得感激,还要奢侈得更多呢?
永远忘不了那年,我是多么的努力,才能改掉那个消极的坏习惯,从一个成天流泪的懵懂女生,变成一个有自信的快乐女孩。
原来,消极已经根深蒂固在我心里了。它还是不时走出来,企图扰乱我快乐的生活……

为什么? 我的脑海里什么都想不到,只有这句话,一直蹦出来,在我脑里一直转来转去。也许是我自己太自大了,也许是我太粗心了,以致一再犯错而不自知。
从你昨天的眼神中,我明白你看到了那封信息,是我不好,算错时间,原以为那封简讯会过期的……对不起,带给你困扰了。但是我还是没有后悔过,没有后悔说出口,说出口却让你看见我就觉得尴尬,不好意思,我忘记原来还有“尴尬” 这两个字,会弥漫在我们之间。我从来没有想过,也没有去计算过。我只知道,这件事我想了多久,犹豫了多久,最后用最大的勇气,谁晓得,却是愚弄了自己……
‘对不起’,我现在只能说这句话了。
也许,我真的不适合爱一个人。或许,我只能被爱,这样,就不会受伤害了。
今天,是我最后一天情绪化了;明天的我,又是以前那个整天微笑的快乐女孩。
这样的我,至少能让人认为我是快乐的;至少,我知道自己有能力给自己快乐,不需要任何人的帮助。
我知道,我还有很多很爱很疼很想我的朋友和家人。我有那么多的爱,我是幸福的,不是吗?我是自私的,我不想把所有人给我的爱,都倾注给你。这样的赌注,我玩不起~
现在的我,还是会留一小部分的空间给你,偶尔想想你,想想以前的回忆,那是幸福的。谢谢你曾帮助过我,谢谢你曾经那么体贴。可是现在,我要把其他的爱,通通给爱我的人。
请别困扰,请别担心,请给我时间去改变。我会像老鹰那样,为了生活下去,而把自己过去的翅膀拔掉,等新的翅膀生出来的时候,我会是个更耀眼的自信女孩,在我的天空自由飞翔。
只是,够了,我的心不想再补了。再碎的话,就拼凑不回来了。
现在的我,就等人来爱就好了。
请原谅我的自私与不懂事。
你或许不会看见这个,更不会知道,我曾希望,自己能成为你快乐的来源。
想做一件事,让你更快乐的事,好让你心中,埋下我的名字……

曾经希望,
我是你的许愿树,
聆听你的每一个梦想,
实现你的每一个愿望…

现在,让它们像海浪打在岸边,
转眼即逝……
放了爱,为了爱;这并不是我想要的结果,可是只有放了爱,我也许才能寻获真正的自己。
让我慢慢的张开双手,把手中紧握住的你给我的回忆,像沙子一样慢慢放开,回归大海,消失匿迹……
请原谅我的自私和懦弱,让我慢慢放开~
是时候,一切都要回到原点了。
要笑哦~
*我爱你*
我会好好的!
加油!
愿你幸福~