梦游记

Life is Dream Walking; I dream Walking in my LIFE^^

2nd visit to Orchard Street


hahaha.Christmas that day Orchard was too crowded,so we decided to go another time.hehehe.Luckily the decorations haven't clear up yet,so we managed to get ourselves many pretty pics.hahaha
this pic was take at ang mo kio,very nice santa clause and inside the santa tower was this christmas tree,hehehe,anyway,I love the gingerbread man.hahaha

see the lights and the wire,my cousin said i wil get shock cz i hugged the block.hahaha

this was took with my cousin tat goin along,hehehe.
hmm.see,hahaha,i was mimickin the deer.look alike rite?hahaha
see we were foolin around at the back of the glass.

see our poses.hahaha
we took at the roadside which have lots of decorations and monumens like this
this is the santa clause tower i meant.dono why the black guy was standin behind me.hahaha
hahaha,like in the scenery of snowin.hahaha


the right side man was the camera man,(lousy de)hahaha
hahaha,i like this pic!the background is more beautiful than me!nevertheless,my cloth suited it!hahaha


anyway,these are all from me rite nw.hehehe,gonna go some more places.hahaha
have a nice day,gambate.


变了,回不去了吗?

变了,回不去了吗?


我不想改变,可以吗?
有些事情总由不得我们去评论和决定,

纵使我并不想.
伤心有用吗?
我会伤心吗?
但我不掉泪…
没有了他,我还是我;
没有了我,他还是他。
我只是他生命中的一个过客
有没有 都无所谓。
有谁会预料到,
他是我生命中的贵人…
没有人知道,包括他。
他在我最需要人支持的时候出现,
在我忙碌中走开。
原来这个世界上
没有谁会因为没有了谁
而活不下去。
只有谁因为谁
有了借口不要活下去

有他,我还是我;
没他,我依然存在…
不同的是,
我没那么快乐。
他不在,一切都不一样…
有谁晓得,
我宁愿做一辈子的XXX,
也不做一分钟的YYY。
YYY永远比XXX幸福。
我好希望我是以前单纯的XXX,
不是有了不同意思的YYY。
只是,变了
全都变了…
既然变了,就回不去了…
知道吗?

只要你回头看看
就会明白,
其实我一直都在…
只是你的步伐仓促,
没有发现到,
有个人在你身后。

但愿你快乐

Christmas in Singapore

25.12.2009 was my first Christmas celebrated at Singapore...I went to Orchard Street(which they said have alot of christmas thing and decorations)...
hmm.after I had done my work,I just rushed to the MRT station to meet my cousins...
hahaha...feel so excited for that.
But the phenomenon I saw was actually quite upset me...cause there was nothing much but ppl that played with the entertainment thing...Oh my god...the place was crowded with people and I thought I was packed like a sardine!hahaha.Anyway,this was a new experience for me.hahaha.
Took some pictures too,wahahaha

at the MRT station with my cousins.
at the street
with my cousins
with my cousins...(the most left handside with the santa clause cap is a stranger la)hahaha

with my cousins.hehehe.have time call me o~            ______   |
hahaha

在新加坡的圣诞节


今年是我第一年在外地过圣诞节。哈哈哈。听说新加坡乌节路这一带每年都有很精彩的节目。原本是感觉很兴奋的。以为能找到和以往非常不同的经验。但是~嗨……一场欢喜一场空。哈哈哈。原来今年的庆典也没什么特别,人挤人,挤死人啊。哈哈哈
不过还好,至少还可以拍些照片留念。因为那些地方真的很不错,蛮漂亮的。哈哈哈这是在地铁站拍摄


我与我的堂姐表姐

我在其中一个地方拍摄


我们在等烟花时拍摄。谁知道,没有烟花!!!哈哈哈
这是第二天到乌节路继续拍摄的(前一天太多人,根本寸步难行)
像吗?哈哈哈


今年的圣诞节就这么过了,不同的是我不在家里庆祝。哈哈哈。一年即将结束,新一年又要开始了。
每个人的命运都不同,但我相信努力会改变结局。
加油哦
愿大家幸福快乐。

你、他

看见了一个人,
好像好像你
几乎以为
那就是你。

不管是走路方式
外貌
还是背影,
都是你的神韵
我的心停止在那一秒……
但是当他转过身时
我知道
终究还是一场空
你不可能会出现在这里
是他真的太像你了;
是我不够了解你;
还是我太想你了;
才会把他误认为是你?
如果你能在身边
有了个避风港
那会有多好……
或许那时的我
会是世界上最幸福的人了……

Life in Singapore...

 Today is my 5th day in Singapore...Everythin seems so right and so normal to everyone...except me...
I am not missin home,just feel little boreness and tireness...
Today is my 1st day to work...hmm.it is not hard,but it seems just not suit me...cause i don like to talk much,but doing sales have to talk alot!!! arrrrhhh!  how am I gonna to alive for a few more months!?
anyway,this is just the beginning of my working day,hope I will get use to it soon...hehehe...
now online watching chipmunk1...hahaha.gonna watch 2 when it is on show...
hope i can make it to go to Ochard Road on Christmas Eve...hehehe.
enjoy your day.
hehehe
good luck.

爱的诠释

乌云在天空中玩耍

跌倒了
乌云哭了
我孤单的诠释

打在脸上 咸咸的
是雨滴 是泪水
原来受伤是如此诠释

你不在身边
用你握过的左手
独自擦拭眼泪
记忆里你总微笑着
以右手替我擦去烦恼
左手牵起我的快乐
幸福就这么简单被诠释

此刻的我微笑着
任由我的悲伤
在你眼里快乐诠释
泪水
是我爱你的诠释
我对你的爱
只好用眼泪诠释

希望你把我的爱诠释
一直在友情里受伤害
曾想过是否是自己要多太多
却发现自己什么都没有
原来
友情的伤害比爱情的伤害
来得更痛、更重
你说
朋友就像点缀生命中蓝天的彩虹

你却不知道
彩虹只出现在暴风雨过后
但暴风雨过后却不一定有彩虹
如果看见生命中的彩虹
需要付出的代价是真心
而真心若被漠视
你还会选择
让彩虹点缀你的蓝天吗?
我宁愿我的梦贝壳里
永远只有蓝天
因为彩虹终究会消失
而蓝天会一直存在
你带给我的爱

是那么的真实;
以致带给我的伤害,
都残酷得让人心碎。
就连梦醒了,
心依然在痛。

痛得我,
流泪窒息…
原来不是你不爱了
而是我太爱你了……

爱的季节

有时候,
爱像雨,
片刻逗留在寂寞的天空;

风吹过
天凉了
雨落下
只剩蓝天,
无奈地等待下一个雨天…

多时候,
人像云,
片时呆在吵闹的人群中,
人散了
他走了
梦醒了
只剩自己,
无措的等待下一个他的来临…


梦呓:

来来回回,爱就是这样的轮回着。当他转身后,又有另一个他来取代他。不管你曾经有多爱他。他,始终会从你心中离开

幸福的味道


回忆,如同手上持着的泛黄照片,并没有因为光阴的递进而被吞噬。照片上的一家六口正开心的微笑着。如此灿烂的笑靥至今仍历历在目,丝毫不觉已是匆匆十五年。犹如时光并未随着岁月的痕迹而腐蚀,犹如时光并未将人从身边带走。照片中人物的气息似乎还余留在空荡荡的空气里… 视线渐渐模糊,照片上的人物逐渐变了形,回忆却愈见清晰…


“小贤,过来拍照了!”妈妈温柔的声音,催眠着本贤,使他不由自主地来到母亲身边。两个娇滴滴的姐姐及高大威猛的哥哥,正忙着检查自己的衣物,打算以最佳状态入镜。

“蝴蝶结戴歪咯!”大姐本慧弯下身替他稍微移动了下衣领处的蝴蝶结,让他看起来更加体面了。本贤是家里的老么,也是家里的活宝。家人最疼他这个小淘气了。

“大家坐好,要拍咯!”爸爸吩咐。语言中透露着难以形容的兴奋与幸福。

“咔嚓!”在所有人准备就绪后,摄影师启动相机,把这幸福的一幕拍下来。一家六口的全家福,荡漾着甜甜的幸福味道…

“妈,照片该放在哪最适合?客厅还是房间?”
“妈,要用木制还是金属制的相框?”
“妈,记得分给我一张哦!我要给同学看…”
一拿到照片,几个小脑袋就不停地讨论着,显然是兴奋无比…

“好好好…都依你们的想法办。”瞧着陶醉的小瓜们,父母的嘴角就忍不住上升至一个微笑的弧度。
“你们瞧…这样挂好不好?”爸爸在客厅进门处最上角的正中央挂上放大的全家福…
“再向右过一些…”爸爸立刻照着做。
“向下一点点…”爸爸不敢怠慢,马上移上一些。
“不对。爸,偏左上一点…”爸爸又无奈地移动一下,却发现下面的孩子正在抿嘴偷笑,才惊觉自己被耍了。
“看我怎么收拾你们!”爸爸以最快的速度从楼梯上爬下来,向调皮的孩子们扑去…
“别跑!”爸爸像个大孩子般,和自己心爱的小孩玩起追逐游戏,妈妈则在一旁‘指点’着他们…

幸福,随处可见。

近来的天气让人捉摸不定。早上热得让人直飙汗,下午却下起雷雨。这样阴晴不定的天气让人特别容易生病。
“小贤发烧退了吗?”以自己的额头触碰本贤的,妈妈焦虑的问。异于常人的高温使妈妈更蹉跎不安。
“等会儿爸爸载哥哥姐姐回家时顺便带你去看医生,好吗?”本贤无力地点点头,又沉沉睡去…
“小贤…你有没有感到好一点啊?”
“哥哥买了你最爱吃的棒棒糖哦!”
“还有很可爱的贴纸哦!是小贤最喜欢的哦!”
一进入车内,兄姐们便一一表露自己的关心。
“医生说小贤还需要多休息。”妈妈抱着小贤,还有一丝愁楚。
“那我们唱歌给小贤听。大家要一起唱哦~”本欣开始唱了起来。本慧和本卫跟着她哼…
“啊…”一辆重型罗里突然不顾爸爸的车子正在快速前进,而从转弯处弯进来。由于事发突然,爸爸根本还来不及反应便已直直的撞上了那辆重型罗里。娇小的车子不敌罗里浩大的冲撞而翻转过来,车底朝天…
幸福,一瞬间消失无踪…

在加护病房内躺了三天三夜的本贤虽然已渡过危险期,却仍昏迷不醒。一直守在一旁的本慧心里乱成一团,不知道该如何是好…以后的生活,该怎么办?当本贤清醒后,又要怎样开口对他解释这所有的一切呢?自己都险些无法接受了,年仅十岁的他能接受吗?
当悲哀和现实交集,她该选择前者?还是后者?
但是,伤心之余,生活还是照样继续,时间还是照样流逝…

她别无选择。因为,她还有一个需要人照顾的弟弟。倘若自己先倒下,那年纪尚浅的他该怎么办呢?她深信,天堂的家人会谅解她,保佑他们的…要不是妈妈以自己的身体护着本贤,相信他一定也难逃死神的魔掌。既然母亲冥冥中留下本贤,给她留个伴,她也不会辜负母亲,好好的照顾本贤,不让她的牺牲有半点遗憾…
“你醒了?有哪里不舒服吗?”看见缓缓睁开眼睛的本贤,本慧深深地松了口气。看着他的眼神,本慧知道他心里踌躇着什么。一阵心痛难过袭来,她的眼眶骤然聚满泪水。宛如意识到姐姐眼中的悲伤,本贤立即明白了,泪水不停地涌出眼帘…
“别这样…你还有我。我会一直在你身边的…”强忍着泪水,硬是不让它掉下。
“我…呜…”本贤艰难的发出声音。本慧再也忍不住,扑在本贤身上抽泣起来…
“都是我…都是我的错…”本贤连自责的语气都很微弱。身上多处骨折使他无法移动,只能一再自责着。
“要不是因为我…妈不会跟着去…要不是我,大家就能早点回到家,不至于碰上那辆罗里…”本贤内疚地呜咽着。
“别这样…这不是你的错…不是我们的错…”虽然不是他们的错,却是他们担当所有责任与悲愤…
在那场无情的车祸中,他们失去了挚爱的双亲、默契十足的手足。刹那间,他们从天堂跌入地狱最深处。幸福的一家六口只剩下无依无靠的两口…
幸福,能否延续 ?


“姐…以后怎么办?”本贤能在短促的时间内走出悲伤,让本慧甚感安慰。
“放心,我会想办法的。明天回学校念书。知道吗?”
“那你不回学校了吗?”姐姐的意思是…
“我只是暂时离开学校。等我们生活比较好后再回去也不迟啊!”本慧语调中满是惆怅。真的会有那么一天吗?
两人不语,对着墙上的全家福发呆。所有的记忆顿时成了回忆…
本贤如本慧所愿回校念书。可是,一切已经改变…

“韩本贤是个无父无母的孤儿!没人要的孩子…”班上的同学在窃窃私语。没有人愿意再和他交朋友,只是一味的嘲笑他…不管走到哪,好像都有人对他指指点点…
“我不是没人要!我有爸妈!有兄姐!只是…他们不在这里…”姐姐对本贤说过,他们只是到了比较远的地方,在远方注视着他们…
“你家人都死光了!都没有了!”几个调皮的学生故意讥笑着他。紧握拳头的本贤再也忍无可忍,冲向他们扭打起来…
“为什么要这样?”领着衣衫不整的弟弟从办公室走出来,本慧从众多学生异样的眼神中得到了答案…
“别管他们说什么。只要相信自己所相信的,那就够了。懂吗?”替本贤整理衣衫,本慧心疼地说。
“他们说我们是孤儿,没有家人…没有人要…”本贤愤怒的语调同时也充满了哭腔。
“你还有我啊!我也有你啊!所以我们不是孤儿…不是没人要…”本慧红着眼眶告诉他。她相信他们的家人一定在远方的一个角落,遥望着他们。
“可是…我很想爸妈…还有哥哥、姐姐…”本贤的泪水不听话地滑出眼角,欲罢不能。
“我也很想他们…可是,我们再也没机会见到他们了…”本慧一把抱过本贤,两人一齐抱头痛哭…
从那天起,本贤,不再是本贤…

幸福,不再简单…

“你是不是又打架了?”在准备午餐的本慧看见从学校回来,衣衫沾着血迹的本贤,眉头不禁轻蹙。本贤沉默不语,一个劲儿的躺在沙发上。
“为什么你屡劝不听?为什么成天打架?” 本贤变得这般堕落,让她感到非常无措。
“反正没有人会介意…”本贤说得就像一点都不关他的事那般,一针刺中了本慧的心。
“你有没有想过?我辍学是为了谁?我努力赚钱是为了谁?”这三年的生活使本慧一直处于紧绷状态,丝毫不敢放松。脸上挂着的不再是微笑,而是疲惫。反观本贤,日子过得好像十分悠闲,不愁吃穿和读书压力,浑浑愕愕的度日。
“那我去赚钱好了。你回学校念书。”本贤说得脸不红,气不喘的,仿佛到外头工作易如反掌。
“你懂什么?你知道工作多么的辛苦吗?”本慧禁不住朝弟弟大喊。自己日以继夜工作挣来的钱才刚好足够日常的花费。如果有多余她也会把它存起来,准备日后供他上大学的费用,丝毫不敢乱花钱。就算生日想买件新衣给自己,一想到弟弟,她就宁愿穿旧衣裳。而他竟然大言不惭的出言要养她?
“为什么那么大声凶我?以前爸妈都不曾这样对我!”本贤不满地吼回去。
“啪!”本慧朝他脸上重重的掴去一记耳光。压抑不住怒气使她不停地颤抖。
“我讨厌你!讨厌现在的一切!”抚着被打疼的脸颊,本贤的心里更痛…但是,他不晓得,本慧的心比他的还痛,那一记耳光如同打在自己身上…
“既然如此,那我把你送走。让你永远都看不见我,这样你满意吗?”本慧的眼角泛着泪光。
“是你说的!”
“只要你答应我好好生活…”
“没问题!”语毕,瞥见本慧毅然不看他便转身离去的身影,本贤忽然为自己的快语感到丝丝后悔。
“爸…妈…我错了吗?”他感到十分愧疚…姐姐任劳任怨,同一时间兼几份差,扛下生活的重担,而自己却一再使她黯然神伤…
叩!叩!叩!

把耳朵贴在门上仔细地听,里面并没有声音…难道姐姐睡了?可是,她还没吃晚餐。本贤在门外踌躇不定,手上的面已渐渐转凉了…
“不管了…道歉就是了。”本贤硬着头皮扭开门把,发现姐姐正背着他坐在床沿的角落,手里好像拿着些什么…走近一看,赫然发现她持着几年前拍的全家福发呆,泪水似瀑布般从她红肿的眼眶夺出。
“大姐…”本贤放下面,坐到本慧身边,感觉除了满满的内疚,还是内疚…
“你知道吗?妈妈冥冥中将你留下来陪伴我,可是…我…我却不能将你教育好…你叫我…怎么向他们交代?”本慧难过的抽搐着,身子因抽搐而不停地颤抖。
“对不起…姐…我知错了。请你原谅我…”看见姐姐为了自己不值得的行为而哭成泪人,本贤打从心里感到歉疚,仿佛有人用尖利无比的刀往自己心头俑。如果可以的话,他希望姐姐俑他几刀,希望姐姐再掴他几巴掌,让她消消气…
本慧摇摇头,把头靠在本贤的手臂上,沉沉睡去…她累了,很累很累。
“大姐…谢谢你的付出与牺牲…”本贤把她放在床上,替她盖好被子。一滴眼泪顺着他的脸庞滑下,正好落在本慧的眼皮上…
血浓于水,再怎么斩也斩不断…
幸福,并未变质…


今天的天气阴沉沉的,沉闷的空气让人感到窒息。太阳躲在乌云背后不肯露面,偷偷瞧着机场的一对人影…
“东西都带齐了吗?钱带了吗?”本慧替本贤拿着个小背包,忙不迭地检查着。
“都带齐了…你一整个早上已经检查了整百遍!”本贤无可奈何的拍拍前额。
“前往纽西兰的乘客请到登记处……”机场内响起了登机通告。
“到了那里要好好生活。记得要好好照顾自己,别饿着了。有什么事情记得致电告诉我。”面对姐姐的罗嗦,本贤的头都快点断了。
“到了纽西兰记得打个电话回来报平安。”本慧不忘交代。
“大姐,你也要保重。别累坏了。”给姐姐一个紧紧的拥抱后,本贤带着不舍的心情踏入登记处。眼见本贤的背影越来越远、越来越小,直到消失于视线之内,本慧才带着沉重的步伐走到巴士站。
幸福,愈渐沉重。


“小姐,你还好吧?”好心的路人将欲几几欲晕的本慧扶至一旁,关心的问。
“谢谢。我没事。”本慧客套的回答她。不知道怎么一回事,最近她常常感到疲倦。就算休息了一整天情况还是没有改善。活动一下罢了便已精疲力尽。本慧有种不祥的预感…但是时间不容许她思考那么多,她还要赶去兼差。自己得努力多赚些钱,好让本贤无后顾之忧的用心读书。
本慧正想重新站起身,眼前却一阵黑,一阵白的,好似所有东西都在漂浮着,然后便应声倒地…
“小姐…你醒了?”医生检查病例的时候,本慧轻轻的移动了身躯,缓缓地睁开双眸。
“这里是医院。你晕倒了,所以被送进来。”瞧她一副不解的模样,医生坦白地告诉她。
“那我晕了多久?”医生以手势比了个二,把本慧吓了一跳。
“请问一下,现在几点了?”如果错过了工作的时间,那可就糟了!会被扣薪的!
“上午十点二十五分。”
“糟了!不行!我得马上出院。”本慧立刻坐起身来,准备下床,却被医生阻止了。
“你生病了,不应该这样潦草就出院。”
“可是我真的很忙,没有时间住院。也没有钱住院…”本慧不管医生的阻挠,坚持出院。
“你患了‘作息不良操劳过度后遗症’。再不治疗会有生命危险的。”医生解释道。
“什么?那…我还剩多少时间?”
“三个月。”三个月…那她就得赶紧凑足本贤的学费才行!
“我得出院。”
“你有什么隐疾可以告诉我。我可以帮你。”医生的话让她感到吃惊。但接下来的话更让她百思不得其解。
“我需要一笔钱。”现实让本慧变得很现实。
“你需要多少?我给你。”医生毫不犹豫地回答。
“我不懂。”本慧的眼珠子快掉了下来。
“其实,要不是因为我的缘故…你们就不会家破人亡。”
“你怎么知道我…”一想到已故的挚爱亲人,本慧的心情就不知不觉激动起来。
“我是那罗里司机的儿子。”医生的答案让本慧讶异不已,话都挂在嘴边说不出口。
“要不是因为我突然发高烧,爸爸就不会那么急切的赶回家接我去医院,也不会发生那宗车祸。我们一直都被愧疚感困扰着。”医生的眼中闪过一瞬间的伤感…
“事情已经发生了,也过去了。再怎么样,他们都不会复活。所以请你别再提了!”本慧突然提高声量,引起周围病人的注意。
“对不起。但请你接受我的帮助。”医生向她鞠躬。
“如果我接受治疗,会有痊愈的机会吗?”
“不会百分百痊愈。还要定期做疗程。但我保证不会让你死的。”他斩钉截铁的说。
“谢谢你的好意。我宁可用我仅剩的时间来完成我毕生最大的心愿,也不愿在医院等死。请你不要在拦着我。”无可奈何,医生只能尊重她的意愿让她走了。
“如果你有什么事情,可以随时来找我。”他从口袋中拿出一张名片递给本慧。
“谢谢。请转告你父亲,我们没有怪他。是他让我们成长了。”
本慧转身,并没有发现医生眼角的泪水。
“我爸爸…因为过度自责,早在两年前含恨离世了。”只是,他并没有告诉她。
眼见三个月时间越来越近,本慧的病因为没有就医而每况愈下…
这天,她又不支昏倒被送入医院。当她醒来时,赫然对上一双熟悉的眼眸。

“姐…为什么不告诉我?我不是叫你别太操劳吗?为什么你就是不听?”本贤的语气略微生气。
“你为什么会忽然回来?” 本慧的声音里头尽是疲惫。
“医生飞到纽西兰去找我。我能不回吗?”她竟然忘了还有个医生…真是被他将了一军。
“猜我刚刚梦见谁了?”看她嘴角的笑意,本贤立即明白了。
“ 我就快和他们相见了。真的好高兴…”
“姐!你怎么可以就这样丢下我一个人?”本贤心急的问。
“我的时间不多了。你一个人以后要坚强的活下去。别让任何困难打倒,知道吗?”拍了拍他的手背,以示鼓励。
“要努力读书,成为像爸爸一样对社会有贡献的人。”本贤不听话地眼泪好比泉眼般涌出来,一发不可收拾。
“知道了…知道了…”看着呼吸逐渐薄弱的本慧,本贤不知如何是好,只能不住地点头…
“伏契克在他的《绞刑架下的报告》中说过:‘我们为欢乐而生,为欢乐而奋斗,我们也将为欢乐而死。永远不要让悲哀同我们的名字联系在一起。’我和他的想法一样。”像感应到什么般,本贤带着眼泪微笑看着气息微弱的本慧,哽咽地说不出话来。
“你是世界上最好的弟弟。我爱你,本贤。”本慧安祥的合上了双眼,带着幸福到另一个国度寻找已故的家人…
幸福,与爱并进…

“爸、妈、哥、姐,你们看见了吗?我成功了!”手上的照片因本贤的兴奋而摇晃着。
“你们一定为我的成就感到骄傲,对吗?”自己成为了东南亚首为获得国际承认的律师,威望全球华人世界。家人在天之灵,一定甚感欣慰!如今的他,为自己而奋斗,为家人而活…
“姐…你看见了吗?我和爸爸一样,是个对社会有贡献的人…”泪水簌簌的流下。是感伤的,也是孤单的…
人们不停地跟着时代的脚步迸进,记忆并没因为时间转逝而停留。不在的人已不复在,也不可能再存在…所以,存在的人应当被好好珍惜对待…

也许,在某个寒冷的夜里,梦中还会出现那些熟悉的身影,给自己带来从前的温暖与幸福…
幸福,是甜中却又参带点苦涩的味道 …

有一种爱叫放手

《有一种爱叫放手》不只是中国歌手阿木所演绎的歌曲,而且还是一本书的名字。那天偶然在订购杂志上看见这本书,其实并没有什么特别,也只不过书一本,可是却让我倍感惊慌。让我惊慌的是,脑海无意间浮现你着的脸…

喜欢你是何时开始,何时结束,已经记不起了。感觉就像风轻轻吹过,被带走的云朵又回到原点。
仿佛。一切未曾发生…
到底是怎么学会放下的?我还在摸索当中…
一开始就知道你不想让我受伤害,是我心甘情愿一头栽进去。从来没指望能得到你的一点施舍,只希望你能快乐,那就是我的快乐。

后来,你遇见了她。即不想让我受伤,又想和她在一起。我清楚自己让你左右为难,所以选择还未开始就放弃。因为我明白,有一种爱,它叫作放手。我选择离开,是不想我的爱变成你的负荷。从不后悔做了这个决定,因为你承诺过你会幸福,你和她会过得幸福。感到不舍,因为你的好总让我怀念。

我以为只要我放手彼此就能释怀,然而我的离开反而把你推向独自承担她离去的痛的边缘。这是我始料未及的。你说终于明白我受伤的滋味,而我却从没怪过你。只是在想,如果当时还在你身边,也许你就不必独自承受那种撕心的痛。

对不起,我疏忽了。
风来过,又走了…就这样,三年了。现在,我们之间成了暧昧。你不敢在大家面前与我交谈。我明白,你怕你的一言一举会不经意触动我的伤疤,因此刻意跟我保持一定的距离;在简讯间我们却能为彼此解答心理的难题。我们都明白,彼此心中不会再有任何涟漪和波动。

难过无助时,感觉得到,你总在我身边未曾离去。谢谢你无言的关怀,总是适时给我安慰。纵使她还在你身边,你却只能看不能及,我了解那种折磨的感受。我知道你因为她的放弃感到椎心,也因而变了许多。表面上你还是你,但我总觉得你变得不像是你了…

我了解,我们不可能回到从前那样把心事畅谈,把星星月亮都容入话题无所不谈;也不可能回到以前那种单纯想爱的模样。我们变得怕受伤,怕伤害自己、伤害别人。可是,你的变化总让我感到不舍…虽然,我并不是你的谁。

她是个好女孩,大家都知道。你也是个好男孩,你知道吗?也许在大家眼中你很轻浮,但对我来说你一直都很棒!你有一颗会爱人的心…

你告诉我,你很困扰。我了解,因为你没有找到一条出路,让自己从烟雾中走出来。人总是自私的,所以你没有必要怪自己。如果你连自私的勇气都没有,那你还有勇气爱自己?更甚的是,爱别人吗?

时间是最佳麻醉剂。你不认同,我也是。时间,只会加深想念,让人更惆怅;但是时间却能让你看清楚,你要的到底是什么。

不需要故意把感情放一边,那只是逃避。它依旧在你心里的某个角落,忽隐忽现。没有一个人试了一次就成功,没有人不曾跌倒。可是,你爬不起来…
其实,或许是你的潜意识以为自己最爱的是她,但也许你并不了解她,你只是因为忽然的失去,才无法忘记她。因为不曾拥有过的,才会被人认为是最完美的。

我只是试图让你知道,有一种爱叫做放手。放手,或许不能放开她,但至少,你可以放了你自己。就像我放开手,让你走自由飞翔一般。我不晓得如何解释放手,或者是如何放手。因为那并没有实词可以描绘。

我想说的是,倾听自己心底的声音:
你真的想忘记她吗?
你真的爱得那么辛苦吗?
辛苦什么呢?
为什么会觉得辛苦呢?

对我而言,辛苦,只是个藉口。是因为你累了,而并不是你不想爱。或我该说,你懒惰爱,怕爱得没有结果,怕爱了一场白费的恋爱…那是我对辛苦的见解。

世上没有人会不想爱,不需要爱。你也一样…
爱,应该是种幸福。毕竟,有很多人不懂得如何爱。那才叫人怜悯。

松开手,你会知道,自己还有一只空出来的手,抓住自己;放开手,让捏住自己心的那只手抓住更多美好…

又或许,不需要松开手,享受那暗恋的阵阵心酸和甜蜜。
喜欢一个人,不应该成为负担…
不管你决定如何,我一定支持你…
加油!

初始化的爱

我把矜持放下
以为可以好好的爱一次
你把冷淡摆在眼下
把我推至海角天边

我把理智丢掉
以为可以得到你的微笑
你把失望拉近
再次把我推进深渊
我把爱拿开
以为这就是洒脱
却不晓得
这是逃避
是懦弱

爱还在
心还为你跳跃
痛依然
在我左边胸口熊熊烧着
原来这就是我的爱
面对你
面对自己的无助
我不能怪你
也无法怪自己
爱是什么?
它让人感受到一种感觉

让人痛
让人痴
让人傻
让人笑
让人恨
让人喜
让人忧
让人念
让人……
无法从其中自拔

愿恶魔将我带走
只留下你对我
最初的美好记忆及印象
愿天使将噩梦带走
将我对你的爱
初始化……

下港第二届海口区篮球赛

Upon 19.6.09 till 15.7.09,a basketball Tournament was held at my primary school.hahaha.Jz opposite street of my house.The more important thing was,I was part of the panelty group.I was in charge in the time and marks counting.Hmm,to be sure,it was interesting and it was brand new stuff for me to learn...hahaha.Besides,I can earn money!(though not much).hahaha
For sure,the competitions went on very packly and some of the games even posponed due to the bad weather.
What's more interesting was...there were a lots of handsome guys! hahaha,I like guys who play basketball.They are cool!
The tournament was divided into 4 groups,got old ppl team,teenage team,invited team and 海口team.And the tournaments went on quick lancar.Everything was alright.hahaha.
what a dismay was I din get any hp number from the guys! wahahaha.Kidding.Most probably next year will have another tournament,perhaps at that time I am not here anymore.hahaha.
anyway,this will be the last post I have for the entire week.Wanna study and this weekend go Kuching Festival! hahaha.
Here are some pics from the games: this is the machine I used to count the marks and time.cool,rite?Like I am a technician.hahaha
and this is me! hahaha,took at the closing ceremony
and this is the invited team who got no1! see who cool is the trophy!hahaha.I love this team.

this is the trophies! hahaha,sponsored by my uncle.
this is took when the openin ceremony and the players said their pledge.
this is took at the opening ceremony,standing at the left is the presiden for the tournament,and the right is the invited VIP,dono what Mahmud la.hahaha.
anyway,this will be the last post for this entire week,or entire month! wanna study liao.hahaha.
have a nice day everyone!

Ooops...reading...

s Hola everyone.hahaha.I am back!
Hmm...I had borrowed lots of books from library today,they are all brand new,and...for sure,very nice!I am very happay to be the first to borrow,wahahaha.(feel pleasure for tat) and as for the books,I highly Recommend them to you! NICE! nice,nice!wahahaha.Just cannot stop reading them...they are fantastic! wahahaha.
they are actually some chinese fiction stories,short novels,and some are stories of the famous people.hahaha.after all,those book are non-fiction too,cause there are alot to learn,though,not just giving a story for entertainment.
Anyway,wanna retire from becoming blogger soon.( jz for some month,of course.) hahaha.
I want to concentrate on my studies,and at the same time,it means to decrease my time for reading!!! Arhhh! A day without reading is a day of waste!I mean,beside text! hahaha.really suffering if I forbid myself from reading.wahahaha.Somehow,I would not be so cruel to myself,I'll just minimise the volume of the book read per day.wahahaha.Perhaps,each daily.hahaha.
Tomorrow still have to go school and after that have to help my uncle work.Tire.wahahaha.
what disappointing is I did not take photo of those books and post it on my blog! hahaha.Nvm.Anyhow,hope I can upgrade my 黄金屋soon.They are rotted.hahaha.
I am very excited when thinking about the unread books.wahahaha.and very glad...wow~ sound a bit insane.wahahaha.
anyway,have a nice day.
dont say it is late so no need have a nice day.
wahahaha.
have a nice dream.
Good luck.

tire from the similar routine...

Every day see the same faces,read the same books,write the same things...everyday study study study,I am tire of this!haiz...this kind of life is boring...I dono why I have to feel this way.hahaha.so passive and I don like it either.
hahaha.but wat to do,STUDENT! and we have to suffer like this...wahahaha.actually not tat bad la.sometimes,I also can make it into fun...jz wanna try somethin new...
hahaha.
Of course,sometimes will feel a little lonely,too.hahaha.why there is no sweet bf for me?and why others have it,so sweetly...wahahaha.Human,sometime will feel sad and need someone there to be with me too.hahaha.moreover,i am only a girl,though I know wushu but I still need some1 to protect me too.wahahaha.if I cant find a buddy like other do then I really gonna ask a gift from CY and JK for a bf my next birthday.hahaha.
It's ok.This year wil be graduated,and I can get my freedom,and search for some new life and sweet memory too.wahahaha.jz to gain some different experiences la.hahaha,Anyway,jz feel curious how a relationship can begin...
I mean,if u are fancy on someone,tat doesn't mean the some1 oso have to like u back...so,how?
hahaha.anyway,I am not tat lonely till cant survive or keep thinking of this matter.wahahaha.jz the matter ppl don belief me don have Bf and keep sayin tat I lie... -,-!!! what for I do tat? that wil jz scare the boys around me ah.wahahaha.
Anyway,study is the most important thing for me rite now...so start from August,I wil stop my online life for several months and let my facebook and blog rot away.wahahaha.
Dont miss me too much when I am away yea.wahahaha.I am on the way achieving my goal and my aim!!!
wish me luck and so do to u...
good luck.
have a nice day.

I am the Source!!!

wahahaha! I am the source for the 'copier'!!!really sorry for those who copied my physic and got scolded.hehehe.I don even know I am the source for the phrase "heavy force" to begin spreading.hahaha.really sorry for being scolding,espeacially Chai Yun...
because I really don know I am the source...
For those who doesn't know the situation,let's me explain for awhile.
The story began with the Physic PS1 correction.I got 9 out of 10 marks for the essay,so many frens copied mine.the problem is,I used the wrong term- 'heavy force' for the force then everyone(who was copied mine) copied exactly the same as mine.The teacher found that we were copying and asking the source to admit...Of course,I still dono I am the one teacher was finding... -.-!!! What a pity.hahaha.
Then Li Xian looked through Chai yun's paper and then mine and found out that teacher actually din notice about my mistake but she blamed the others.so,of course,whole class was being scolded...and reached time to go home,then Li Xian accompanied me to go and admit...
Thanks alot yea Li Xian for being there for me and giving me alot of strength to admit...
hahaha...really appreciate it.
luckily,teacher didn't scolded me again when I told her the truth~ I AM THE SOURCE!
hmm,after all,LTK had recorded the teacher's scolding dialogue with his phone...hahaha...
wanna to listen?go to look for him.hahaha.
Thanks and sorry.
anyway,have a nice day.

finally...

Hahaha.yes!yes!yesss!Finally I has finished my PSV project.hehehe.I had holded it for about 5 months,just kept telling myself still have time to do it.Who knows,it came out rushing at the end.hahaha.
tomorrow is the last day for handing the project and folio and see,I havent finish yet!hahaha.today need to burn midnight oil again.wahahaha
Actually i had started this folio quite early,when Mac I think,at first I was choosing a harder topic,but teacher kept complainin.hehehe.then I redo and redo and redo,until at the end the modul I did earlier being teared by myself!hahaha.
I had spend quite a time to do that modul,but the teacher just non-stop complainin.haiz.I know the teacher like to pinpoint at me,but what can do? I am a science student,art is an extra subject,she couldn't jz expect me to know anythin and any info before she was tellin me ah!anyway,I am too tough for her to beat down.hahaha.
Then,that was my folio again,she continued to talk and talk and talk about it!How I know what to do? I had to control my feeling not to be upsetted by her,but I am a human!what should I do when people complainin about ur hardwork? 1 word---DESPERATE...
I thought teacher should be encourageable...hahaha,how wrong I was...
1 thing that makin me felt angry is...she said I can ask her anythin and I should ask more if I don understand,so the second day I went and asked for her "coachin",but then,she said:" I am too tire to say this again,I had told the art students too many times,I am not going to tell u!"
errr~angry ah!what a teacher!
hahaha.anyway,I just wanna expressed it out.feel frustrated when think of every single word she consulted about me.But this doesn't mean I am regreting for taking this subject.I am still loving arts,din lost the enthusiastic.hahaha
hahaha. sometimes,of course,will feel bothering.hehehe.
Here are some pieces of my project,see how?


this is the earliest modul I had done,haven't finished yet.hahaha.then I destroyed it.feel sad when saw it.It was a reminder from what teacher had talked about my hardwork.
i know it is not nice,but don hurt my heart ma!




then this is my folio's title.see my name is so big written.hahaha.








this is the reka bentuk.hehehe.don focuse on the mushroom,hahaha.the inside lakaran should be ok la i think.hahaha






this is oso one of the reka bentuk.I coloured it so hardly,hahaha.then my fren say like little kid drawing and coloring.hahaha








this one is the lakaran bentuk.







hmm,this one ah.guess how much time I had spent on this drawing?3 and half hours! imagine,jz to draw this few words!hahaha.but I loved this very much!very nice...







the butterfly looks real,rite?my fren,Shirlene help me to color it!cz I really dono wat's the color needed!Thanks Shirlene!hahaha.then the flower I colored myself lu.not too bad la,hahaha.







this is the alat and bahan.



yeah!finally finish liao.I mean jz the folio.the modul still on the way doing it.hahaha.luckily my cousin is here helping out.hahaha.later will post my complete modul up.hehehe.
have a nice day!

project?party?

Hahaha.That day,if not wrong was 5.6.09 la,our group of ppl,Phit Fen,Chai Yun,Ching Foong and of cz me were dooing Chinese project at Ching Foong's house as what we had planned.Ah Kheng the 2nd kepo ma was following too.hahaha.came for wat?
kepo lu...hahaha
actually we said wanna do our project,but then came out with playing computer and singing.hahaha.we spent most of the time played and sang there!hahaha.wat a moment!
waste o~and Ah Kheng kept got shock by the mic.hahaha.so she used the pillow to wrap the mic up and continued singing.hahaha.really speechless!how innovative is her!hahaha.
But that day I din sing much cz sorethroat leh...haiz.hahaha.
then we came to the cooking event.hahaha.of course,I am the chef,cooking pasta.hahaha.
luckily they said that was good and demanded for more until we cooked another pot.hahaha.
then we went back at about 2p.m..
maybe this was the last time we grouped together and did our project lu.hahaha.wanna finish form5 soon.excited but helpless too.hahaha.
mao dun...

k la.upload some pic here.see probably o!hahaha
see what kheng do?hahaha.singin with the mic wrapped!hahaha.
ching foong was singin.standin on the chair?cz the mic's signal not good.hahaha

this was cooked with cheese!nice,hahaha