you are nice,but you are not Mine ...

Once
u treated me nice
i cut my finger
terrified by the worm,
it was u
doing the rest of things for me;

Once
i was always not tall enough to reach the rack,
it was u
who put down all the things in hands
and got the tub I needed for me;
i shall never forget
your pretended-blaming-expression
when the water dipped out from the tub
and wet your shirt
the sincere and kiddy expression
that warmed my heart;

once
i was stubborn;
it was you
fighting with me
by using our eyes
---> o.O vs O.o "
maybe that was the moment
I was electrocuted by you
it was so funny
when I thinking of this
but it was you
who make me think I worth a live
because I still can fight;

once
i was scalded by the boiling soup,
it was you
first to ridicuole me
as in I was kidding
but after seeing the painfulness in my eyes
u were more to caring
and hold my hands
to see the scald;
I would never forget that moment
A beloved man showing his caring
though I am not his love...

once
i was broken heart
it was you
throwing my love
into pieces
with your silentness
and the explaination in your eyes;

once
i was thinking,
it was you
who make me felt love and loved
but it was just my imagination;
perhaps
it was me
growing all the doubtness
that pushing you furthur from me
until losing all the happiness we used to have;
until the awkward feeling filled the atmosphere around us;
it was u
who woke me up
that i am not suitable to love
but loved;

there are always some memories between us
that I shall not forget
for the rest of my life
the valuable treasure
which keeps inside my secret closet
forever...
I will always rememeber
there was a guy,
who ever brighten my day with a simple "bye bye";

the guy,
who is nice,
but not MINE...

Its ok I didnt get it O:)

The day seems longer than usual,I couldn't wait for anymore minute longer,yet,I told myself not to panic and don't put on so much of hope on it.
The moment arrived and I was panicked when I couldn't log in to view my status.hahaha.After couple of times of trying,guess what?
I DIDN'T GET IT!
Feeling little of dismay and disappointed,why? Why I didn't get it? I don't know.I have done my best in my exam,interview,but what I got is "tidak dapat menawarkan"!
Anyway,there are lots of friends that did not get this too,so,I don't mind anymore! I understand clearly how they picked,what to do,this is MALAYSIA!
By the way,I am quite confuse where to study the next.After a long stay in Singapore,I felt like not going anywhere else to study but in my own hometown,with all my friends and family over there.But then,I also felt like going to other places to study as what I dreamt and to gain more experience.
Though there are lots of university for me to pick,I still don't know where to go.
last time,my first wish is to go Monash University,who knows they doesn't give full scholarship,so--->give up.
now,I am considering
1.HELP UNIVERSITY COLLEGE for the Psychology course at august intake(but just now went to research and read that it is quite expensive and hard to graduate,is that true?)hahaha
2.SEGI COLLEGE,Sarawak for the American Degree transfer Program,which I can study at Kuching for 4 years or I can choose to go other place to pursue my studies!
3.UCSI kl for the september intake for foundation in psychology.
4.SUNWAY in KL for the psychology program...
hmm,if I have to study in KL and I have to rent a room or house there o,reluctant to do so because I have to pay!hahaha,I want to save all my money la.anyway,if I study in KL and there will be a chance for me to be more independent though I have to make new friends there and miss old friends here,and it will be a better opportunity for me to find some part time job for myself to gain more experiences! hahaha
My mama said if I really go to KL and maybe can ask my papa to go with me and find room for me first,hahaha.It is ok I did not get it,I know there will be more pathways for me.hahaha
wow! I think alot.
And I think more! hahaha.
should I change my dream course to other like biomedic or biology or just simply the business or science?
oww!hahaha,I dont know...
hmm.what to do now? I dont know la! hahaha.so lazy to think anymore.Just wait for the matric reappealing result tomorrow and see how first.hahaha.all the best luck to all my friends! don't give up o~
good luck
gambate.

如果，那么我XXX

如果我哭了，
那不代表我懦弱，
哭后反而会变得更坚强；

如果我一个人，
那不代表我寂寞，
而是我能单独做自己想做的事；

如果我心痛了，
不是因为没有你，
而是因为没有了自己；

如果我笑了，
不是因为拥有你，
而是知道你幸福了；

如果我爱你，
不是因为你是你，
而是把你当成自己了；

如果我不爱了，
不是因为等太久，
而是把对你的爱放下了；

如果我伤心，
不是因为你的拒绝，
而是自己的无法放弃；

如果我把眼镜拆下，
那是因为我想用朦胧的视线看世界，
暂时逃离眼前清楚的事实；
如果甜蜜，
就是心跳加速，
好像心脏快要跳出来的样子；
那么心痛，
就是心跳渐渐变慢，
直到感觉快要窒息为止……

如果爱一个人，
需要找到对的方程式；
那么爱你，
我会找到正确的方式…… <3