Much To thInk .oO

I do not know what and how should I feel right now...
there just simply doesnt have any mood that suits me for this moment...
My heart is totally...EMPTY...
Since when I always have this dumb feeling,I am not sure.I am tired,just want to lie down and have a good rest.
I met you today,and we did not talk at all,just one sentence you told me,"table 6."
You kept playing and chatting with others,I should know that you were actually trying to make me feel bad,so that I can hate you,is tat so? Or i guess wrongly? I DONT KNOW!
the last sentence you said," I dont wish to see you anymore." I should know that you were actually talking to me,but not the people beside me.
Am I so hatred?
Am I so unreliable?
Am I so ... until you dont want to see me,and keep taking off to avoid me?
I DONT KNOW.
what can I do is just>>>GUESSING.
Why we turn out to be like this?
YeoYeo mama said,"doesnt like you,just give up! the gals like us,so nice so small very nice to hug,dont need to worry no people want,and easy to find company!" Is that true? I DONT KNOW!
There are so much to think...And I am not going to let this feelling pulls me down to the core.
I always read CL the 8gong's emo posts;
I know how X_X feels when he had to break with his beloved one;
I understand what all those about and I know why I will feel this so strongly,
I thought it will be easy for me,
as I understand it,
but how silly i am...
as I couldn't.
From you sight
I know maybe I was wrong to do all the decisions between us,
until there is a glimpse of weirdness among us.
Should I be blamed?
I never regret it.
what should i do?
what can i do?
what will i do?
I DONT KNOW~

there are so much to think!
I was wondering why the ESILA website couldn't I logged on...
Is there alot of students who were now trying to log on like me to see the result?but the result havent released yet?
How if I am not selected?
which university should I go?
Again, I DONT KNOW.hahaha.

ONE MORE!
I am getting FATTER!
huh~vjust dont know why,I thought I am keeping fit all the way,but my face just grows fatter like that.AHHH! until i can see my double chin so easily! OMG! whats more,I am still eating chocolate! hahaha.just cant leave it!
Life is just too messy for me right now.Everything will be fine,indeed,it always does!
So,I wont go and think about it.hahaha,just let it be.I dont want to make myself so suffering thinking so much of unnecessary reasons for myself.hahaha.Smile and it will soon go away too!
Good luck to me!
have a nice day!
gambate ah!