想要……

想送你一座走向快乐健康的彩虹，

但我不是神也不是仙；

想要给你做顿饭，
但厨艺却不精湛；

想要给你一个爱的抱抱，
但却拉不下脸；

想要给你一个微笑，
却藏不住心中的感概；

想要知道你的一切，
却发现越来越不了解；

想要一个愿望，
却许了给你；

想要给你我全部的爱，
却担心被拒绝；

想要给你一辈子的爱，
却知道不可能；

想要的都无法做到，
只能爱你一天是一天……

简单，却又一点都不简单。

我喜欢我的工作，
因为那里有我爱的孩子。
每天跟他们在一起，
世界单纯了很多。
至少，
他们让我离开世俗风尘
让我明白
爱和承诺可以很简单，
只有你守信用……

我问一个学生：
“你喜欢来这里吗？”
“喜欢……”
“你喜欢XXX吗？”
“喜欢……”
“你喜欢YYY吗？”
“喜欢……”
“你喜欢老师吗？”
“喜欢……”
我一直重复同样的问题
他一直回答同样的答案；
没有厌倦的眼神，
只有无辜的好奇……
我疼惜的看着他，
摸摸他的头。
他的爱，
很简单……

有一个学生，
来学校时常常闹脾气不肯下车。
那天当他大闹平息下来后，
我问他：
“来学校不只是读书，
还可以来看老师和朋友，
你不喜欢来学校吗？”
沉默……
“你不喜欢你的朋友吗？”
沉默……
“你不喜欢老师吗？”
沉默……
“ 既然你喜欢，为什么要哭闹？”
沉默……
答应老师以后要开开心心地来学校好吗？
（伸出小指，他勾住。）
自那天起，他不曾再胡闹。
小小的人
小小的心
小小的承诺
大大的悦现
我真的很感动，
因为他放在心上……

还有一个两岁的豆豆，
牙牙学语，
没有人听得懂他在说什么，
他不以为意
成天咿咿呀呀
用力且激动的比手划脚
仿佛所有人都做了对不起他的事
你静静的看着他
他就会冲过来要你抱……
你会发现自己很容易被他的一举一动逗笑
纵使他的动作不是最好笑的
却是最真实的表现……

有很多学生不肯午睡
所以每天都要去哄他们睡觉
有时候
少了这个‘拍拍’的动作
他们就不肯睡
虽然他们嘴里不说
有一次
一个学生说：
“我要你这样‘拍拍’才睡
我走了过去
不一下
她就睡着了……
很简单的动作
却带来了我们之间的互动……
小孩要的并不多
一个拥抱
一个吻或被吻
都能让天使挂上笑容，
他们要的只是一丝关怀和注意……

有时候真的想
让他们一直活在这样简单的世界
不受污染；
又怕他们将来被世俗所骗。
矛盾……
是因为世界上的事情总要好坏两面，
无论你选择好或坏，
另一面总会出现困扰你……

有时候
也希望自己能和他们一样
爱得简单
想得简单
做得简单
承诺得简单
‘自己’得很简单……
简单，却又一点都不简单！

VACANCY for soulmate^^

CRITERIA: *must smile alot(it looks more sunny,I dont like mysterious type :*)
                   *not black (not necessary to be very good looking)
                   *at least 168cm
                   *responsible
                   *love me and love my family as well ^^ (this is a MUST,as I care my family the most)
                   *can take care of me
                   *not miserable(because I do)
                   *not show off type^^
                   *marriage as the precondition

JOB SCOPE: * love,care and help me
                      * protect me
                      * can sing for me if possible :p

WAGE: * Everything from me^^

Please feel free to apply if you match the criterias above.
Notes: It seems easy but it is actualy not.^^ do think twice before you apply,if not,please prepare a super glue to glue ur broken heart back.thanks.hahaha
Don't get amused when you read this.I am doing it with several reasons.
Some might think that I cannot stand to be lonely,that is why I have the vacancy.Anything,I dont really care what will you think of me.
And I have to emphasise that I am not.As I am going to be 20 next year,but I never experience a date before.You might think which era am I in...hahaha.It is your problem,not mine,I am normail,but extraordinary,because I love myself.If you dont love me,dont come near me.
Am I "closed minded" for some of you,I am not really sure.Hahaha.Anyway,I had been always the topic of my sisters.They always say that I will be an old virgin cause nobody wants me.hahaha.I am not really care what they say as I know I am somehow,erm....ATTRACTIVE too.Dont you agree with me? hahaha.I am not self-praising,ok? I mean it. ^3^ Is this consider as a reason? I wonder.hehehe.
Then,it is about my mama.I had never been into a date when I was having my secondary education,because I promised my mama that I will never have any boy friend,or else I will be dumped from school.hehehe,luckily I never disappointed her. O.o See,I am such a good and obedient daughter.(as well as a good girl friend,perhaps?) hehehe
Next,it is related to my friends,good friends I mean.They got to be paired one by one.hehehe.why should I be the last? hahaha.And somehow I dont want to be BULB anymore! How sarcastic is,when I am going out with some friends,and they get coupled,I am the only one left with no one beside me! omg! HOW BRIGHT  I am!hahaha...I am not saying that I keen to have a boy friend so that I can show off in front of my friends,but that is kind of...ENVY i think.anything...
SOMEMORE!!!
 It is the most important point why I post this here.hahaha.My cousin had actually just broken up with her girl friend.Anything...Is his home problem,hahaha.however,yesterday we had a party at home and he came.My siblings and him started to chit-chat on why he broke and so on...bla bla bla,until around 2am in the morning.hahaha. Then they started to ask,one by one,how many gf/bf we ever have... zZZ. what a lame question. And when I told them,so sarcastically they did not believe,just like how shocked my friends used to be when they asked me this. hahaha.So I told them I will write this and post it,and all of them agreed with this vacancy. hopefully this can shut their mouths up!hahaha...
URRRGGGHHH!
well,so many reasons,but I just couldn't find one...Maybe I am antisocial,according to someone. -.-!!!
I dont think so,seriously,I am just do not like to communicate with someone strange,that's all...hahaha
Anyway,Love cannot be forced...So, just make it slowly but as soon as possible so that I will not receive anymore "Ha?" "seriously?" "don't lie lar~" "cheating!" "..." as answer when I tell them next time.
Well, make your move, but be ready to be hurt. Hahaha...I am devil and I am cold blooded... ^^
anyway,Have a nice day.
good luck
Gambate!!!

矛盾

想要让你开心 却又怕弄巧反拙；
想要对你很好
却又怕你会发现我的心思；
想要发简讯给你
却又怕烦到你；
想要主动和你聊天
却又怕你认为我不矜持；
想在遇见你时给你个微笑
却又怕你不理会；
想要打开你的心扉
却又怕自己不自量力；
想要让你注意到我
却又担心你只看见我的缺陷；
想要在你面前表现自己
却又担心你认为我很骄傲；
想要在你面前大胆说话、建议
却又担心你会认为我不温柔；
想要在你面前温柔文尔雅
却又担心你没注意到安静的我；
想要在你面前装柔弱
却又担心你认为我是吃不了苦的大小姐；
想要在你面前装坚强
却又担心你认为我大女人主义；
想要和你吵吵嘴
却又担心你会讨厌我；
想要经常妥协
却又担心你会认为我没主见；
想要想你
却又担心你在想别人；
想要默默的喜欢你
却又想让你知道我的想法；
想要告诉你喜欢你
却又怕为难你；
想要忘记你
却又舍不得你的好；

想一个人孤单也可以过，
却又不甘寂寞；
想要大声说爱你
却又担心得不到相同的回应；
想要为你的快乐而快乐
却又常常独自掉泪……
想要为你做的事情
却又和心里心理相反；
爱真的很矛盾……

National Day Recycle Material Fashion Show Design Competition

well,it has been a long time ago since I participated in this competition. I always forgot about this post.And now,finally I post it here. ^^

The competition was hold in Boulevard second floor,it used to be the place where competitions are organise.hahaha. It was a day before National Day,which was 30th of August,2010. When I was first telling my family I wanted to join this competition,they agreed.I was like OMG! because I thought they would say " No no no.so boring la you..." wow! it pushed me to work harder.hahaha.

Then I started my materials hunting,and a model hunting too! hahaha. I asked all my relatives and my 3gu6po to help me in searching those materials. THANKS ALOT for your help in order to make my costume looked 'perfect'. hahaha. throughtout the day, my mother always found that, the bottle caps had all gone missing. Later,she told me my brother was taking them all and giving all to me.hahaha. I was like...erm... scratching my head,acted ignorent.hahaha. At last I decided my model,my cousin.hahaha. After some 'training', she seems to be better and on the day of competition,there was even someone who said she looks like a professional model and perhaps better than them. wow! she was so happy I think she is going to faint if she heard it herself on spot.hahaha. Anyway, I always mock her that , ' see, I taught you how to cat walk and bla bla bla...' and then she always show me the face of ungrateful.hahaha. who cares,just for fun.

On the day, it was so embarrassed because I had to carry the whole costume( which is really big and obvious) into the boulevard.Everyone seems to look at us,and maybe they would think : what on earth are this two girls doing? bringing those 'weird' things...
hahaha. Again. Who cares! We were quite early so we just made up and did whatever we think is necessary at there. Of course, we met other competitors,which some of their designs were really amazing me! hahaha. It was a competition not limited to only young people, but children and elder. And the winner for the competition was the elderly group which their ideas were like 'snow white' costume. It was really cool.hehehe. Anyway, we got ourselves a consolation prize. To tell you the truth, every participant was entitled to a prize.hahaha. However, I did not think mine is the lousiest, it looks pretty nice too! this is not self-console anyway. ^^
from the left is the champion.
my group with 1st runner up!
The competition not only includes the fashion show, but also an explaination which had to do on the stage, expain briefly on the design' concept,perspective and anything related. And I was the one to explain, as my siblings did not want to 'show off'. hahaha.
i am explaining^^
It was kind of undescribeable touching and happiness when my mother came here earlier to watch the competition. Previously, no matter what event and competition I took part, she never attended. I remember I had my public speaking competition,jogathon and many more. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME! hehehe.
And she was overjoyed when she saw my prize was all the cooking ingredients. hahaha. So I handed the whole so-called-hamper to her,and got myself and my sisters the books which were given together.
OK. What I wanted to say is, this is a very interesting activity to join,beside making friends with people, it socialise my life, so that I would not be antisocial. lalala. What's more, it is kind of competition that raises your creativity,it is fun and challenging! The most important is, it realised my dream to be a fashion designer.
wow... the dream that has almost decomposed in my mind... and finally, GOTCHA! hahaha
for some reasons,I am not be able to upload the pictures here.By the way, you can go to my facebook album to have a look on it/Or perhaps I can make it to upload it here when I come to onlilne.that's all for now.
Have a nice day!
good luck!

there is one I admired

There is one I admired. He is a gentleman. This time I am not going to tell him. Instead, I will put him in my deep heart core, miss him and care about him with all I can. This is the most I can do so that he will not suspect on me.
Why not other but him? I do not know. Perhaps it was the days when I saw him looked so down and upset, and a feeling of care rose from my left closet. My mind was telling me, ‘you’re responsible to care about him.’ Some more, he was those rare kind that will not count whatever he does for other, so do for me. He never tries to count on me.

He told me,' the more you sacrificed, the more advantages people will get from you, because they think this is a must so they just take it for granted.’ I know he had given a lot but he did not get what is deserved, he hurt deeply.

I know I will not take whatever he gives for granted. I will not ask anything from him in return. What I wish is: he is always happy without emoting. Hopefully this is why my mind told my heart I should care about him. I know I am not be able to cure him up, it is also unnecessary for I am the one when he has no one, but at least I wish I can be the one he can think of when he is sad or alone. I am not a cheerleader, but I am a good listener.

It is ok if he holds other girl’s hand. I will be sad for sure, but I will be happier as I know that he feels secured and happy. I am not sages, but I have a big heart, that I can give him a big smile for assuring that I am fine with anything. This is what he used to tell me. Who knows? Maybe someday else I will tell him this sentence back.

I remember there was period that I was hesitating whether should I fall for him? It was a struggling moment and I was lost. But I found it later, just let it be. I am happy if he is happy.

Don’t ask me why I choose to not to tell him. I do not want to make him sad. I also don’t want to drown our new born friendship. I am a burden, shouldn’t be loved by someone gentle like him. He ought to have his happiness, but not with me. I am spoiled, I have princess attitudes, I am a burden… it is very difficult to take care of me. So I better be alone than suffers him. So I better keep quiet if I want to continue.
“just love him with all you can when you meet a nice guy will do =) “
Indeed, I will. Thanks for his quote.

Please pretend that you do not know anything as this is the secret only for me. I am sharing it out so that I can always remember who is him, why I do this and what should I do to keep myself balance. I am not asking for anything, so please let me fall, but do not push me.